Rather Be (A Songbird Novel) Read online

  RATHER BE

  A Songbird Novel

  Melissa Pearl

  © Copyright 2017 Melissa Pearl

  http://www.melissapearlauthor.com

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  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, places, businesses, characters and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, actual events or locales is purely coincidental.

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  Cover art (copyright) by Mae I Design. All rights reserved.

  http://www.maeidesign.com/

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  License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy.

  Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  Blurb & Dedication

  Soundtrack

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Epilogue

  Note From The Author

  Acknowledgements

  Other Books by Melissa Pearl

  About Melissa Pearl

  Connect with Melissa Pearl

  RATHER BE

  Love can last a lifetime…

  Best buds in high school, Charlotte (Charlie) Watson and Nixon Holloway were inseparable…until the summer after graduation, when things in their relationship shifted and it all fell apart.

  Four years later, their paths cross at a snowbound New York airport, and it doesn’t take long for them to realize that time and distance has done nothing to extinguish the flame between them. But life has moved on. Nixon has a girlfriend, and Charlie must face up to the lasting consequences of what she let happen that dreadful summer.

  In a secret attempt to make amends, Charlie suggests a spontaneous road trip from New York to LA. As usual, Nixon can’t resist her persuasive charm, so they hit the road together. But as the duo make their way across the country, they are both forced to face some honest truths about themselves, their present lives, and all of the unfulfilled dreams they’ve let slip by.

  Each of them can see the course their lives are taking…but is there someplace else they’d rather be? And will they have the courage to fight for the person they would rather be with?

  For Against the Current

  I can’t even explain what it is about this band, but I can listen to them constantly and not get sick of them. They are just my style and I’ve used a bunch of their songs in this book as a way to say ‘Thanks for being awesome!’

  #musicmakeseverythingbetter

  TWO FREE NOVELLAS!

  Sign up for Melissa Pearl’s mailing list, and you’ll receive these two free novellas. You’ll see these characters featured in Rather Be. If you’d like to know their stories, then you can download the books for free by clicking on this link…

  YES, PLEASE! I’D LIKE THESE FREE BOOKS!

  Note

  In previous Songbird Novels, I have placed the playlist here, but one reader suggested that the list can give too much away. So, if you don’t want to see the song list before reading the book, you can skip straight to Chapter One from here. If you’d like to see the Rather Be song list, keep reading…

  RATHER BE SOUNDTRACK

  (Please note: The songs listed below are not always the original versions, but the ones I chose to listen to while constructing this book. The songs are listed in the order they appear.)

  DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY

  Performed by Bobby McFerrin

  HAVE FUN GO MAD

  Performed by Blair

  THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO

  Performed by Busted

  IN TOO DEEP

  Performed by Sum 41

  BREAK ME DOWN

  Performed by Tenth Avenue North

  RAISE YOUR GLASS

  Performed by P!nk

  DREAMING ALONE

  Performed by Against The Current

  SHE MOVES IN HER OWN WAY

  Performed by The Kooks

  WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME

  Performed by Hot Chelle Rae & Demi Lovato

  CLOSER

  Performed by The Chainsmokers & Halsey

  LONG WAY HOME

  Performed by 5 Seconds of Summer

  THIS TOWN

  Performed by Niall Horan

  WE ARE YOUNG

  Performed by Glee Cast

  GOOD TIME

  Performed by Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen

  JUST A DREAM

  Performed by Jason Chen & Joseph Vincent

  LIVE LIFE LOUD

  Performed by Hawk Nelson

  ANOTHER YOU (ANOTHER WAY)

  Performed by Against the Current

  EVERYTHING I DIDN’T SAY

  Performed by 5 Seconds of Summer

  WE BELONG

  Performed by Sheppard

  LET ME DOWN EASY

  Performed by Sheppard

  EMPTY

  Performed by The Click Five

  11 BLOCKS

  Performed by Wrabel

  GRAVITY

  Performed by Against the Current

  CARRY ON

  Performed by Fun

  CUPS

  Performed by The Barden Bellas

  NEVER SURRENDER

  Performed by Skillet

  COMEBACK KID

  Performed by Against the Current

  CRASHED THE WEDDING

  Performed by Busted

  SAY YOU WON’T LET GO

  Performed by James Arthur

  HAPPY TOGETHER

  Performed by Simple Plan

  LEAVING ON A JET PLANE

  Performed by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes

  RATHER BE

  Performed by Clean Bandit & Jess Glynne

  AFTERNOON DELIGHT

  Performed by Glee Cast

  CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF YOU BABY

  Performed by Smash Mouth

  To enhance your reading experience, you can listen along to the playlist for RATHER BE on Spotify.

  Chapter One

  Nixon

  Snow.

  Who knew it’d disrupt my life so badly.

  I was an LA boy, used to blue skies and sunshine.

  But there I was in JFK Airport, New York, hampered by piles of snow.

  Did I seriously want to live there?


  That was the big question, the one that brought bile surging up my throat whenever I thought about it. Mom said it was just nerves, and she was right. She told me I’d never been great with change.

  “When you were a boy, we had to give you warnings about everything. You were so nervous and jumpy. You always felt safest when you knew the plan.” She laughed whenever she said those things to me, like the memories were sweet treasures to hold on to. Then her eyes would mist over and I knew she was thinking about my older sister, Reagan. She’d been nothing like timid little me. Impulsive was more her style—impulsive, bullheaded and insane.

  I tried to shrug off the morose thoughts and focus on problem-solving my way back home, but the idea of how Reagan would handle the situation niggled at the back of my mind. She wouldn’t have been irritated by the snow. Hell, she would have seen it as a challenge. Something else to conquer. Knowing her, she would have dragged our butts back to the city to live it up for the night—party until the flights resumed again. Or worse yet, she would have chatted up some random strangers and found us a ride home—one vehicle after another.

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I pinched the bridge of my nose and played a round of dodge ’em with my brain.

  My sister had only been sixteen when she died. I’d been thirteen at the time and it shattered me. It shattered everyone.

  It was like the lights in our house went off all of a sudden, and no one knew how to switch them back on.

  Mom spent the next year wavering between numb sadness, angry outbursts, and tearful despair. I didn’t know how to handle it, so when she cried, I’d give her a hug. She’d hold me tight and whisper, “What would I do without you?”

  Dad had never been good with tears, which made him quiet and grumpy. Since he couldn’t control Mom’s fluctuating emotions, he set out to control every other aspect of his life. He was desperate to fix things, to return some sense of normalcy to our home.

  But how did we make things normal again when the loudest, most vibrant member of the family had been ripped out of our lives without warning?

  When I wasn’t trying to comfort Mom, I shut out the world, withdrawing from everyone at school so I didn’t have to talk about my sister and her tragic end.

  Thinking about her hurt. We hadn’t been best buds or anything, but I still missed her. She was sunshine and laughter…just like another girl I knew.

  The one who saved me.

  My eyes shot open and I shook my head.

  Don’t frickin’ go there, man.

  The pain of losing her was worse than mourning Reagan.

  I needed to get the hell home and back to the safety of my stable, uncomplicated life. The one where I knew what was coming and didn’t have to worry about people disappearing or letting me down.

  Sure, I was restless some days, but at least I knew where I stood. My life had been mapped out, charted carefully, and Columbia Law School was next on the agenda.

  Everybody was happy about that.

  I nodded, reminding myself that I was too.

  It was a good plan.

  But one random springtime blizzard was going to change all of that.

  “Spring,” I muttered, staring up at the flight board and cursing the word CANCELED. “It’s not supposed to snow in spring.”

  Flustered travelers buzzed around me—pulling suitcases, calming partners and whining children, making unwanted phone calls.

  Yanking out my phone, I hovered my thumb over the screen, already dreading the one call I had to make. She’d be pissed. It was out of my control, but she’d still be pissed. Well, not pissed…disappointed.

  I was supposed to spend spring break with my girlfriend. Get some one-on-one couple time just hanging out together. I’d promised her. I’d specially caught the red-eye flights so I could be in New York City for the shortest amount of time possible.

  If life was fair, I’d be checking in and hanging around for my 10pm flight back to Los Angeles.

  I’d been in the Big Apple for less than twenty-four hours, and my body was hating me for it.

  Sleeping on a plane was impossible.

  I’d arrived blurry-eyed to meet up with a law professor buddy of my dad’s. Having finished my online interviews, my parents thought it’d be a good idea to check out the school in person. So to save myself weeks of nagging from the ones I loved, I jumped at the first chance of getting a personal tour from one of Columbia Law School’s most highly regarded professors. He was friendly and seemed impressed with my UCLA grades, but stayed pretty tight-lipped when I tried to find out if I had a shot at getting in to the prestigious East Coast college.

  God help me if I don’t.

  My shoulders were aching under the weight of expectation. Between my girlfriend, Shayna, and my parents, they had me pretty well covered. I was the golden son and the perfect boyfriend. Because that’s what they needed me to be.

  So I kept pushing. Kept being what I was supposed to. Kept making them proud.

  I grimaced. Pride would not be in the cards after I made this phone call.

  With a reluctant sigh, I pulled up Shayna’s number and pressed the green circle on my screen. I raised the phone to my ear and looked across the agitated crowd while I listened to the ring.

  And my world stopped moving.

  Like a mirage from the back recesses of my memory banks, she stood before me.

  Charlie Watson.

  My best friend from high school. The girl with the wacky sense of fashion and a personality so big it could barely fit into a room.

  My eyes traveled down her body, quickly capturing the checkered skinny jeans, bright purple Doc Marten boots, and the fitted Snoopy sweater. She had a big camera slung across her body, resting against her hip like it always did.

  Man, she hadn’t changed a bit.

  The only difference was the blue dye at the ends of her long brown hair. It was a vibrant royal blue that made me grin. She always liked to make a statement.

  Flicking the long strands over her shoulder, she stared at the flight board with a glum smile, then turned to her left and spotted me.

  She froze. Her lips parted and her hazel eyes rounded in surprise. Then her chest jerked like she was choking on something, her face bunching with a powerful sadness. For a second, I thought she was going to burst into tears, but then she started blinking really fast and this shaky laugh popped out of her mouth.

  I didn’t know what to do, except hang up the phone and slip it into my pocket. The world around me dissolved as everything but Charlie became a blur.

  She’d always had that effect on me.

  The one person I could never let myself think about was suddenly the only thing I could see.

  With a quivering smile, she hid her face behind her camera and snapped a photo of my stunned expression, then let out a low chuckle that reminded me of the girl I once knew.

  She started closing the gap between us.

  I wasn’t sure how to feel at first. When she reached me, did I wrap my arms around her? Or did I push her away because she’d hurt me so bad?

  Four years of radio silence.

  I’d accepted the fact that I’d never see her again.

  Yet there she was, weaving her way towards me.

  One step closer.

  Then another.

  And she was near enough to touch.

  I swallowed and let out this breathy kind of laugh, trapped in the surreal moment with no way out.

  Was I dreaming?

  “Hey, Nix,” she whispered, her eyes glassy as she stepped forward and took me back to high school.

  Her blue hair tickled my face as her slender arms wrapped around my neck and her black-painted fingernails clutched my sweater. Her trembling breath whistled against my ear, and in spite of all the unanswered questions, the deep bruising that I thought would never heal, I could do nothing else but wind my arms around her waist and hold on tight.

  Chapter Two

  Charlie

  It was Nixon.


  And he was holding me.

  Just like he had in high school.

  Just like he had that summer.

  I rested my chin on his shoulder and squeezed tight, never wanting to let go.

  I couldn’t believe it. After all those years of missing him, there he was.

  His arms slackened around my waist and he pulled back, staring down at me. I studied his long, oval face. Still the same, yet different. His dark hair was even neater than it used to be—short at the sides and combed back, held in place with military-grade hair product. His mom must love it.

  I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I smoothed my hand down his sweater, then tweaked his collar.

  “Wow,” I murmured. “It’s you.”

  “It’s me.” His soft whisper made me wonder if I’d been forgiven, but then I glanced into his brown eyes and had to concede that walking out on our friendship without a word probably had a lasting impact. One I wasn’t quite ready to face.

  So, in my usual style, I squeezed his arm and let out a laugh that was light and fresh. I couldn’t ruin this precious moment with angst and heartache. I was standing beside Nixon. That was my happy place, and I had to make the most of it.

  With a little grin, I nudged his elbow. “Of all the airports in all the world, huh? What are you doing in New York?”

  His stunned surprise was making way for a smile. His lips twitched, nearly rising as he tried to answer me.

  “I’m, uh…” The phone in his pocket cut him off.

  Pulling it out with a fleeting wince, he checked the screen and I swear his shoulders slumped.