True Colors Read online

  “Chase isn’t random. He’s my boyfriend.”

  She made a face. I tried not to let it bug me. I liked Chase. He was hot and exciting. Mom just didn’t get it.

  “Look, I’m not that different. I’m just growing up. And I told you why I didn’t try out for volleyball again this year. I wanted to focus on my studies, which is what I’m doing.” That wasn’t entirely true. I probably would have gone out for the team this year if my best friend, Stella, hadn’t bitched and moaned about how it took up too much of my time. Sometimes I think she’s just jealous, because she’s such an unco, but I conceded, like I always did when it came to Stella. It was easier that way.

  Reaching across the table, Mom pulled me from my thoughts by gathering up the fingers of my right hand and running her thumb over my knuckles. “I know you’re growing up.” She grinned. “And I love to see it.” Her smile wavered. “Just as long as you never lose that compassionate spirit of yours, the one that always looks out for others. All I want you to do is be who you are. People should love you without you having to change anything.”

  I scowled. This conversation was getting under my skin and I really didn’t like it. “Mom, what are you talking about? I’m still me.”

  “You have to admit that the likes of Stella...and Chase have brought out a different side to you.” I could feel my hackles rising the way they always did when she talked about my best friend. Stella and I had been tight since first grade and sure, she had changed a lot over the years, but I wasn’t just going to ditch her. I liked some of the stuff she’d gotten me into. Sure, it scared me a touch sometimes, but I’d never admit that to my mom.

  It was my turn for my bright blue eyes to grow dark with disapproval. My mom grinned, no doubt trying to ensure the conversation didn’t get explosive. “I’m not saying you’re a bad person or anything, I just don’t want you to forget who you are at the core.”

  I swallowed back my anger. I hated conflict, no matter who it was with. Taking a little breath, I forced a smile. “Mom, you raised me right. I know who I am, okay?”

  “Yeah.” She sighed again, looking totally unconvinced.

  Much to my relief, my phone dinged with a text message. I fished it out of my back pocket and unlocked the screen.

  Just heard from Chase. Need a rescue? Tell your mom shopping with the girls. I have a plan.

  I cleared my throat. “So Stella and the girls are going shopping tonight. Can I go?”

  I’m sure twenty years ago, when she’d been dealing with Seth, Layla, Holly and Toby—my older siblings—she would have made them stay home, but she either no longer had the energy or she knew it was easier to keep in her kids’ good books. I didn’t care what the reason was, I loved seeing that little shrug and nod. “Be home by ten.”

  “Mom, it’s Friday night.”

  “Okay, eleven.”

  “Thirty?” I tipped my head, giving her that look I’d been perfecting over the years. Holly taught it to me. We called it the mother-softener.

  She rolled her eyes. “Not one minute more.”

  I jumped up with a smile, the rest of my dinner forgotten.

  “Caitlyn.” Mom’s voice stopped me. “Just remember what we talked about, okay? I want you to really think about it.”

  The serious look on her face made my reply sincere. “I will, Mom.”

  And finally her brown eyes lit with a soft smile. “Have fun, sweetie.”

  2

  I knew I probably should have considered what Mom said. Did I really want Chase to be my first? I knew for a fact I wasn’t going to be his first. If I was entirely honest, I would probably end up being another notch on his belt. Technically I should have been running for the hills. But I really wanted to have sex. I wanted to know what it felt like...and I wanted to do it with someone I liked. And I really did like Chase...and he liked me. We’d been having fun together. He made me feel alive and adventurous. I liked that feeling.

  I ran my hands through my long curls and ruffled the ends. Flicking them over my shoulder, I adjusted the ring on my forefinger and scuffed my high black sandals on the path outside our house.

  Stella was always late. Ugh. But I wanted to wait outside, rather than loiter in my room. I was scared Mom would come up, having thought of something else to add to her little speech. I knew I shouldn’t mind it. I guess it was nice to be cared for...but it really bugged me when that care rang with a truth I didn’t want to hear.

  I patted the back pocket of my pale denim, skinny jeans, checking that my phone and money were still there. I should have gone back in to find a handbag. Every girl in the world seemed to wear them…except me. I really hated them. They were just another thing for me to leave somewhere and I couldn’t be bothered with the way they always slipped off my shoulder. Holly gave me a bag for my birthday last year that kind of went across my middle and sat against my butt. I needed to drag that out and actually start using it.

  I was toying with the idea of running back inside to find it when I heard a car coming down the road. I craned my neck to see if it was Stella’s VW Beetle, but no, it was the car that always took my breath away. Not because I’m a car chick or anything, but because the guy who drove it...my next door neighbor, Eric...was like the most beautiful human being ever created.

  I’m not making that up. I mean he was hot and then some. Like movie star hot. When he moved in six months earlier, I swear I couldn’t speak for like a day. I’d never seen anyone like him.

  Eric swerved into his driveway and quickly cut the engine. I tried not to look, but couldn’t help stealing a few furtive glimpses as he got out of his black Jeep shirtless and reached for the surfboard attached to the roll bars. His straight hair was wet, droplets hanging from the long ends before dripping onto his shoulders. I watched one droplet glide over his hard chest and perfect abs and couldn’t help scraping my teeth over my bottom lip.

  Ugh. Caitlyn, you little perv. Hello! You have a boyfriend!

  But Eric.

  Le sigh.

  He would be my secret crush forever.

  His hazel green eyes caught my stare and I quickly turned away before I could see his disapproving frown. That was the only problem about my sexy next-door neighbor. Friendliness was not his strong suit. I mean he was polite and everything. We’d said a few hellos, but the one time I’d had enough courage to give him one of my flirty smiles, he responded with a closed mouth grin, you know the ‘so obviously forced’ kind? Like he pitied my effort or something. It was so humiliating and I still hadn’t forgiven Stella for forcing me into it. She’d been standing there nudging me until I’d twirled my hair and used a cutesy voice that was so not my style. “Hi Eric.” Ugh! I could still hear the way I sounded. Cringeville! Stella had laughed her ass off over that one, but she’d insisted she wasn’t being mean (although, she liked Eric too, so I had to question her motives), she was just trying to teach me the art of flirting. She’d done me a favor I guess. I’d scored Chase, so I couldn’t complain.

  My eyes crept back to Eric. I didn’t know why he didn’t like me and I probably shouldn’t have cared. But there was something so compelling about the guy.

  “Eric!” His little half-sister Lacey squealed out of the house and ran for him. He leaned the surfboard against his jeep and picked her up, throwing her in the air as if she were a football and not a ten-year-old child.

  She wrapped her arms and legs around him with a giggle. I could hear him laughing as well.

  See! Eric was nice!

  “Hey, Caitlyn!” Lacey waved over Eric’s shoulder. I lifted my hand with a grin as Eric swivelled to face me. I thought he was about to smile, his expression softened with what I looked like friendliness, but then the sound of Stella’s Beetle approaching stole his grin. We all knew it was Stella because pop music was blasting from her stereo.

  Eric placed Lacey onto the ground and herded her towards the house. Knowing it would be my last chance for the day, I kept my eyes on him as he tucked his surfboard under o
ne arm and grabbed his weekend bag from the passenger seat. I loved the shape his muscles made when they were bearing weight.

  Man, I was pathetic.

  Stella’s car horn forced me to turn away. I ran up the path and jumped into the passenger side, turning down the music. Stella didn’t even notice. Her eyes were fixated on Eric as he walked up his front steps.

  “I’m so coming over tomorrow.”

  “Why?” I knew why, but asked anyway.

  “Look how long their grass is. Eric’s home for the weekend. There’s going to be some bare-chested lawn mowing going on tomorrow and I’m not missing it.”

  I chuckled. Eric was a freshman at UCLA and didn’t live at home anymore. Luckily for us, he was around a lot on the weekends and Stella always kept an eye on the lawn. I will never forget the day we first noticed him mowing. I swear we both swooned like groupies. It was ridiculous.

  “Here’s your fake ID.”

  I looked at the plastic card in Stella’s hand and swallowed. “I don’t remember ordering one.”

  “Well, I knew you’d chicken out, so I went ahead and got one for you.” Her perfectly plucked eyebrows wiggled and two dimples appeared on her flawless cheeks.

  I smiled at her expectant green gaze, trying to look enthusiastic as I took the card from her. I had to remind myself that this was why I loved Stella—she made me do things I’d never have the courage to do on my own.

  “Martha Woodgrove. Really?”

  She giggled, her cheeky expression lighting with glee. “Take what you can get, sweetness.” She pulled on the wheel, spinning the car back around. “You owe me a hundred bucks by the way.”

  “Thanks.” I think.

  I tapped the card against my thumbnail, trying to look grateful. “So where are we really going?”

  Stella smoothed down her shiny, blonde hair with a deft hand. “Well, Chase and I thought we should take you somewhere where you can forget about your parental woes...so we’re going dancing at SkyBar.”

  “Dancing.” I tried not to grimace.

  “Yeah. It’ll be fun.”

  I pushed a smile over my lips, not my genuine one, but the wide toothy smile I used when I was trying to make other people happy. I hated dancing. I mean I didn’t mind if it was all choreographed and we were all doing the same thing, but that awkward shuffling on a crowded dance floor to thumping loud music, was so not my style. There was no way I was going to say anything though. Stella and Chase were looking out for me. I nodded and turned up the music so conversation would cease. I didn’t want Stella asking details about my mother’s lecture. She already thought my mom was an old fuddy-duddy. Besides I was too stressed about the dancing to waffle my way through a conversation where Stella came out feeling on top and my mother wasn’t dragged through the mud completely.

  It took twenty minutes to reach SkyBar at the Mondrian Hotel on Sunset Boulevard. Stella gave the car to the valet and we joined the throngs of others waiting to get the approval of the bouncer before gaining entry into the exclusive club.

  “Come on, let’s see if the others are ahead of us.” Stella yanked my arm before we could even join the line properly, pulling me past the hyped up crowd.

  I was grateful I had chosen to wear my tight tank top and leather jacket. It was smart casual, which suited me fine. I hated dressing up, but if I didn’t put in some effort, I looked like a total slob next to Stella. She always looked stunning, and the hot pink number she’d squeezed her curves into screamed sexy. She was turning heads and loving it. She even got a wolf whistle, which made her smirk.

  I, of course, went unnoticed beside her until we reached the corner where Chase, Sean, Audi and Kurt were, in fact, waiting. Audi and Kurt were wrapped around each other as they always were. Chase looked relieved to be away from them as he approached us, pulling me aside for a private word. Stella continued her confident strut, enjoying the way Sean’s eyes travelled over her body. He was so into her. Poor guy, Stella was never going to let him have her, but it didn’t stop her from flirting up a storm whenever there were no other guys to choose from.

  Chase ran his fingers over the exposed skin where my top and jeans didn’t quite meet, setting my skin on fire. “So how was the third degree?”

  “Not too bad.” I shrugged, not wanting to get into it.

  His smile went all soft and mushy as he slid his arm around me and pulled me close. “So, I was wondering after this if you wanted to find somewhere quiet where we could finish what we started.” He nibbled my ear, his warm breathing tickling the nape of my neck as he kissed my skin.

  I grinned, trying to ignore my mother’s warning as I let his hands slide over my butt. He pulled me toward him, pressing his hips against mine, showing me exactly what he meant. I had to nod. What else could I say? His expression lit with pleasure. Grabbing my face in his hands, he planted his lips on mine and we forgot we were on a public street.

  “Come on you two love birds,” Sean hollered, but Chase ignored him, continuing to kiss me until my senses were reeling.

  Finally I couldn’t take the catcalls anymore and pulled away. I pushed at Chase’s chest, put on a sexy smile and whispered, “Later.”

  That seemed to appease him. He kissed me one last time, thrusting his tongue into my mouth, before grabbing my hand and pulling us back into the line in time to enter the club. My nerves were going off like fireworks as I walked through the door. I was so uncomfortable with using a fake ID. I’d already been in trouble once that afternoon and yes, it wasn’t too bad, but if Mom knew what I was up to that evening, I’d probably get stuck on house arrest for the foreseeable future.

  My insides twitched and buzzed as we made our way through the club. The music was pulsing out a steady beat that seemed like a hammer to my skull. Stella was going on about knowing half the gorgeous guys in the place. Whether that was true or not, I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t try to correct her in front of the others. I’d done that once before and nearly lost her friendship. Pressing my lips together, I tried to tune her out, instead focussing on getting my legs to move. My brain was being fully attacked by my mother. Her words kept spinning around in my head...the fact I was changing, my decision with Chase.

  Suddenly his hand felt sweaty against mine and I wanted to yank it free, but I didn’t want to upset him, so I pressed my lips even tighter together.

  It didn’t work. With a smile, I eased my hand free and touched my lips to his ear. “I just have to duck out for a sec.”

  “You okay?”

  “Oh yeah, I’m great, just um...give me a minute.”

  I left his confused side and yanked on Stella’s wrist, pulling her toward the nearest exit sign on the edge of the room.

  “What the hell is your problem?” She shook me off her once we made it out to the empty side street.

  “Sorry.” I rubbed my forehead. “I just needed a sec.”

  “Why?”

  “Because...” I flicked my hands in the air. “Chase and I are going to...you know...after and I’m suddenly freaking out.”

  “Caity, weren’t you going to this afternoon anyway?”

  “Yeah, but that was spontaneous. This is all planned and pressure central! I don’t know, what if I chicken out last minute? Do you think he’ll hate me?”

  Stella’s irritation eased, her look softening to one of pity. She squeezed my shoulder with her jewelled fingers. “He’d be a jerk to hate you...and Chase isn’t a jerk. I never would have set you up with him if he were like that. It’ll be fine. You don’t have to freak out. Yes, the first time hurts a little, but he’ll be gentle.”

  Why that sounded gross, I wasn’t sure, but I grimaced anyway.

  Stella rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so pathetic. You can’t stay a virgin forever, just—“

  “Can you help me?” We barely heard the feeble voice that came from the alley behind the club. I glanced down and spotted an old man huddled against the edge of the building. His torn, dirty clothing looked more like rags than a
ctual attire. They hung off his skinny muscles, making him look weak and pathetic. His matted beard was unkempt and infested with who knew what. I tried not to make a face as I caught a whiff of his unwashed body.

  “Ewww, you smell.” Stella looked disgusted, covering her mouth with her hand. “Let’s go, Caity.”

  “Please!” His feeble voice was desperate. “Just a little money for food. Please.”

  My heart spasmed. The poor man looked tired and ready to give up. Without thinking, I reached into my back pocket, ready to pull out a twenty. Would that be enough?

  “Don’t you dare.” Stella snatched my hand. “He’ll probably just use it to buy alcohol or drugs.”

  “Come on, Stella,” I whispered. “He looks hungry.”

  “He’s not our problem, Caitlyn. Now, let’s go back in.” She yanked on my arm, pulling me away from the old man’s pleas. He sounded so wretched, I couldn’t help looking back and watching him rise from the pavement. His legs wobbled as he shuffled after us, still begging for something to eat.

  Stella let out a huff and spun around to face him. “Look old man, we’ve got nothing for you, so just leave us the hell alone.” Stepping forward, she gave him a shove. With no energy to spare, he tumbled backwards, landing with a soft cry.

  My eyes rounded and I covered my mouth. “Stella.”

  “Come on.” She straightened her shoulders as if she’d been completely justified in her actions and grabbed my elbow. It took me a moment to respond. I couldn’t take my eyes off the man as he slowly rose from the pavement. A graze, red with fresh blood, ran from his elbow down to his wrist. He nursed his arm against his stomach, giving me one last look before shuffling back to his spot in the darkness.

  3

  I couldn’t get the man, or his plight, out of my head. I wanted to have fun with my friends, but I couldn’t, not after what I’d just witnessed. Plus, I’d done nothing to help. What kind of person did that make me?