Geronimo (A Songbird Novel) Read online

  Our Star Wars movie marathon, the conversations over meal times, the easy laughter, the funny quips and banter between Harry and me. It was all so easy, so natural. The endearing Brit was the perfect distraction, but I could never fully forget Blake. He was always there inside my heart, reminding me why I could never fall in love again.

  Harry was a great companion, and that was all he ever could be.

  Standing on the edge of the rock, I peered over the side and grimaced. “I don’t think I can do this.”

  “Jane, if you have any hope of jumping out of a plane one day, you have to be able to jump off a rock into a pool of water.”

  “But it’s so high,” I squeaked.

  We’d discovered the sanctuary about an hour ago by taking a wrong turn and going with it. The road had gotten narrower and bumpier, but in spite of my jittery complaints, we bravely continued and found the oasis. It was a deep, crystal clear pool surrounded by rocks with a waterfall running into it. I wouldn’t have been surprised if we were on private property, but I was too inspired by the beauty to care.

  After we’d donned our swimsuits we ran to the water’s edge, but Harry stopped me from jumping in, pointing to the climbable rocks. I hesitated, chewing on my lips while he quickly checked the depth of the water.

  His head popped back up, and he flicked the wet hair off his face. “It’s perfect! Come on.” He swam to the rocks, and I foolishly followed him.

  Harry leaned out to look down at the crystal blue water. “I’d say about thirty feet. That’s a high-dive board at the Olympics, I think. Imagine being able to write that on your list, then cross it off.” He gave me an impressed grin.

  I snickered. He’d been making me do that a lot. Putting me in list-worthy situations.

  “You know, Jane, you could actually be crossing off more than one thing if you do this. The water’s clear enough to see your toes, and there’s a waterfall small enough that you can swim beneath it. And if you want to go for the triple whammy, you could take that bikini off and do it naked.” He crossed his arms with a mischievous wink.

  I blinked, my insides going crazy as I tried to figure a way out of it. But then I snapped my eyes closed and forced myself to stop thinking.

  If Blake were there, he’d be yanking his swim shorts off without a moment’s hesitation, laughing at the sky then cannonballing into the water.

  “Okay,” I blurted, shocked I’d managed to say it. My eyes popped open and I gasped. I took in Harry’s surprised smile then narrowed my eyes at him. “But you have to do it too.”

  “What?” He laughed, stepping away from me. “It’s not my list.”

  “Yes, but you came on this trip to help me with my quest, and I don’t have the guts to do this alone. I need you, Harry. Please, do this with me.”

  My words made him flinch. His face bunched with a frown and he took a step back from me, like I’d just hit him with a stick or something.

  “What’s the matter?” My belly did a little flip as I watched him. What could I have possibly said to give him a reaction like that? My mind raced back through the last few minutes, analyzing my words and tone.

  His jaw clenched, and he wouldn’t look at me. With a stiff shake of his head, he sniffed and forced a jovial smile.

  I saw right through it.

  Crossing my arms, I tipped my head and stared at him. I desperately wanted to know what was running through his mind. My words had triggered some memory…some kind of regret. His fake smile couldn’t hide that haunted look in his eyes. Multiple questions sat inside my mouth, anxious to burst out of me, but I held them all back because I knew what he was going to say.

  “No histories, Jane. Please…” His voice caught, and I felt my heart begin to crack. Whatever he was remembering hurt him, and I recognized—felt—the sadness sweeping over his expression.

  “I’m sorry,” I murmured, backpedaling as fast as I could. “Let’s, um…” Shaking my head, I looked to the blue sky and was about to start climbing back down the rocks. “We should go. This is probably private property and—”

  “No,” he croaked. “I want to stay.”

  I caught the edge of my bottom lip with my teeth and studied him. Fear pulsed through me at the sudden thought that maybe he was about to open up, to try to smooth things over with a painful story from his past, but I didn’t want that.

  The trip was about fun spontaneity. I couldn’t handle grief. I didn’t want to cry with Harry. I didn’t want him finding out about Blake! If he told me his sad secret, would he then expect to hear mine?

  Maybe the whole trip was a bad idea. Should I really be traveling with a stranger? What if his past was checkered? What had he done to cause that look of regret?

  I swallowed and jittered, inching across the hard rock, ready for a quick escape. “It’s okay, Harry. I don’t mind. I don’t need to jump. I don’t have to cross things off my list every day. It’s really not a problem.”

  “Jane.” He tried to stop the nervous drivel spewing from my mouth.

  “It’s only a list anyway. It’s hardly important in the scheme of things, I mean this is just—”

  “Jane!”

  I bit my lips together, my cheeks tinging pink after his loud bark.

  He softened his tone with a charming smile, the one that somehow warmed me without my say-so. I stared into his hazel eyes and was yet again won over by his tenderness. The man had a good heart, there was no hiding it. Whatever he’d done in his past couldn’t have been that bad, surely.

  “Get back over here, Lady Jane. We’re going to erase the last few moments from our minds. I’m sorry about that blip, I just…Your words. The way you said them reminded me of…” He ran a hand through his curls and shook his head. “Of course I’ll do this with you.”

  “You don’t have to,” I whispered.

  His gaze was serious when he looked at me, drinking me in as if I was someone else for just a moment. “I want to.” He blinked, his eyes clearing then instantly filling with his trademark twinkle. “Besides, I’m hardly about to pass up a chance to see you naked.”

  I jerked to a stop, gaping at him before blinking indignantly. “Excuse me?”

  He snickered, sliding his thumbs into the waistband of his swim shorts and acting like he hadn’t just had a sadness blackout.

  “What is happening right now?”

  “We’re going to jump into that pool of luscious water completely starkers.” He winked at me. “So, come on then. Get your gears off.”

  Biting my lips together, I gave him one more dubious frown. He wiggled his eyebrows and started sliding his shorts down. I spun away from him and, with quivering fingers, untied my bikini. I couldn’t believe I was actually doing it. My heart was thumping so hard and fast I thought I might faint. The only guy to ever see me fully naked was Blake. He’d been my first…and my last.

  I closed my eyes and reminded myself of that before slowly turning. My eyes crept open, an appreciative smile forming on my lips as I checked out Harry. I’d seen him shirtless multiple times throughout our week. He was hot, there was no denying it. Girls checked him out on the beach. His defined torso caught several hungry gazes. He wasn’t the bulky, body-builder type but had a long, lean, athletic kind of build. I liked his arms the best. They had a nice shape to them—the curve of his bicep, the way his forearms rippled when he lifted our packs into the back of his nan’s Bambino.

  My gaze traveled over his abs, tracing the two lines that dipped toward his manhood. And it was an impressive manhood. His thighs were pretty nice too, strong and muscular. My insides fired with desire, but I swallowed the feeling away. I wasn’t into Harry Tindal. He was my friend and would be nothing more. Ever.

  Even so, I couldn’t stop checking him out.

  I wondered if he was checking me out as well, but I was too afraid to look him in the eye. An awkward silence started to settle around us, but thankfully Harry whisked it away with his humor.

  “So, thoughts?” He bent his knee a
nd started pulling body-builder poses, flexing his muscles until they quivered, and growling like a model from Zoolander.

  Laughter burst out of me, killing the tension and uncoiling the knot in my stomach.

  “I know. I know you thought Hercules was just a myth…” He ran his hands down the sides of his body and struck another pose. “Sorry to shatter the illusion for you, but as you can see, demigods are in fact real.”

  I was laughing so hard I could barely stand up straight. I hated to think what my naked body looked like. My breasts were probably jiggling, and he was probably getting a pretty decent view of my downstairs while I tipped my head to the sky and laughed.

  “Just jump in, you big loser.” I giggled out the words.

  He grinned at me and held out his arm toward the edge of the rock. “After you, Aphrodite.”

  The way he called me the goddess of beauty sent a delicious shiver curling down my spine. I gave him an excited, nervous grin, then stepped up to the edge, my toes curling over the lip of the rock. My body started to shake, my knees feeling weak and pathetic as I stared down at the water.

  Then Harry’s fingers slipped around my hand. “Together on Geronimo,” he murmured.

  “One…” I started.

  “Two…” he continued.

  “Geronimo!” we shouted together. I screamed as we launched into the air and started falling.

  I pointed my toes last minute and plunged into the pool. The sound of the waterfall became muffled as water shot up my nose and filled my ears. I kicked hard and popped into the sunshine, gulping in a lungful of air. Harry popped up beside me and whooped!

  “That was amazing!” I yelled, feeling a buzzy giddiness like nothing I’d experienced before. Jumping off those rocks was liberating, exhilarating…and I couldn’t stop laughing.

  “Can you see your toes?”

  I looked into the water and laughed some more. The water warped my body, but I could see all the way down my legs to the blue polish on my toes. “Yes!” I screamed and let out a joyous shout. Tipping my head back, I closed my eyes against the sun and floated on the water. It lapped against my naked skin, cool and refreshing.

  It was easy to forget that I was baring all to the man treading water beside me. I was too lost in the magic of the hot sun on my face and the cool water surrounding my body. The waterfall ran with a peaceful consistency that could have lulled me into a dream-like doze.

  But my peaceful bob in the water was not meant to be.

  I heard the whoosh first, then gasped as my face was covered by a wave of water. Spluttering, my legs dropped back into the pool, and I started pushing water back at Harry before I’d even opened my eyes.

  When the splashing had died down, I scrubbed a hand over my face and peeked my eyes open. Harry’s gaze was sweet and warm, the way it always was. I have to admit, that blip on the top of the rock was easy to forget when he looked at me like that.

  It made me realize how much I didn’t care about his past. The man in the pool of water with me was a good person, someone I loved spending time with. And as curious as I was, our histories didn’t matter. It wouldn’t change the fact that I was crossing things off my list and having more fun than I ever imagined I could.

  “Come on, you.” He tipped his head toward the waterfall and started swimming.

  I got a nice view of his butt as he kicked and swam away from me. It was round and taut with a dimple on each cheek. My insides stirred with desire again, my throat constricting as thoughts of Blake tickled the back of my mind.

  “You’re still with me, right?” I whispered to him, waiting for that familiar sense of peace to curl through me.

  I didn’t really feel it and kept treading water, waiting for more.

  I looked to the sky, wondering if Blake’s eyes were on me. How would he have felt about me stripping naked in front of another man?

  “I love you,” I murmured. “Only you.”

  “Jane, come on!” Harry shouted. “This is amazing!”

  My eyes shot to the waterfall, and for a second I thought about pulling back, racing for my towel to cover myself, but…

  I couldn’t do it.

  I was on this trip to live for Blake and myself. Swimming under a waterfall was on my list. It didn’t matter who was with me or what I was wearing. I had a quest to fulfill, and if I didn’t swim for that waterfall, I’d regret it.

  Closing my eyes, I whispered to my love again, “Let’s go.”

  But I couldn’t help wondering as I swam for Harry if I was leaving Blake behind.

  I didn’t know if I was ready to do that.

  Chapter Eight

  Harry

  I couldn’t get the thought of Jane’s naked body out of my mind. She was beautiful—her curves, the milky color of her skin, those perfect breasts. It took every ounce of concentration not to grow an erection right in front of her.

  I didn’t want to think of her as anything more than a friend. That was not what the trip was about. We were there to discover ourselves, to move away from pasts that were haunting us. I had no idea what Jane’s was. I’d had my fair share of guesses, but she’d said nothing concrete enough for me to know.

  I’d given her nothing either, except for my little blip on the rock. Tammy had said exactly the same thing to me when she’d wanted to get married and I’d refused her. We hadn’t needed marriage to be together. Things had been perfect as they were…until I refused one too many times and lost her completely. As I’d stood on that rock, battling regret, I’d come so close to telling Jane the truth, but her pale skin and panicky retreat shut me up. I’d never been there for Tammy the way I should have been, but I would be for Jane.

  Tammy would remain my secret not to share. I didn’t want to bring her into the equation. It was too painful, too guilt-inducing. I knew logically I wasn’t the only one to blame, but I’d played a significant part in losing her, and I couldn’t stomach the idea of what Jane would think of me if she knew what a coward I’d been.

  I’d made a vow to never put myself in a position like that again. Love was too painful. But the longer I spent with Jane, the more I realized that I was a fool. Was denying my attraction, the easy banter we had between us, the comfortable silences, the way it all felt so natural really the right thing to do? I was falling for this American girl…and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could deny it.

  “Well, you scrub up nicely.” Jane appeared beside me.

  I’d been so lost in my thoughts I hadn’t even noticed her approach.

  I leaned away to check out the green dress she’d purchased at the market that morning. It had one of those skirts that floated around her knees. The thing we both liked the most was the intricate gold design stitched into the bodice and skirt hem. It looked Arabian with tiny gold beads outlining the swirls and leaf-shaped patterns.

  “Stunning,” I murmured.

  “I know, right? My friend Sarah is going to go crazy for this dress.”

  Jane sat down opposite me, oblivious to the fact I’d been thinking about her rather than the dress when I murmured stunning.

  “She actually designed my—” Her voice cut off and she gave me a tight smile, her eyes glassing over. She picked up her menu and hid behind it while I resisted the urge to probe for more.

  She’d probably mutter, “No histories,” anyway, just like I had.

  I cleared my throat and perused the dinner choices. “I’ve already ordered a red for us to share.”

  “Oh, cool. Was it the one we had a few nights back at the vineyard?”

  “It is.”

  “You’re a smart man.”

  “I know.”

  She snickered at my light joke but still wouldn’t show me her face. I was desperate to know what Sarah had designed for her and why she couldn’t tell me about it, but it was pointless to try to find out. More than anything, I wanted to keep the trip light and fun. So far, it’d been exactly that. We had three nights left before we had to drive back to Rye, and I wasn
’t about to ruin the end of our trip with awkward, emotional conversations.

  The waiter came over, and we ordered our meal. After eating every meal with her for the last several days, I could have confidently ordered on her behalf. She had very similar tastes to mine, and I was struck once again by how easy it was to be with her.

  She’d methodically been trying to crush every one of my doubts that falling in love again was a bad idea.

  I felt like I’d found my other half.

  How could I not fall for her?

  But…

  Tammy twirled through my brain, her luscious locks of blonde hair, her sweet strawberry scent, the taste of her lips, and that smile that could have made me do anything…well, almost anything.

  I closed my eyes and swallowed, turning away so Jane couldn’t see my expression.

  We were at an open-air restaurant, seated at a small table on the edge of the large, round balcony. Music played to my right, entertaining the couples swaying in the center of the cobbled eatery. The faint smell of sea salt floated in the air. The nearby ocean was an inky patch of darkness, the sandy beach framed by lights from the bordering houses and restaurants.

  I was sitting in paradise across from a beautiful girl, and all I could feel was an aching sadness, a bleak regret. If life had been fair, if I’d been the man I was supposed to be, Tammy would be sitting across from me. She’d be chirping away in her speedy voice, going over everything we’d done that day, linking her fingers and resting her chin on her hands.

  But she wasn’t.

  And she never would be.

  Turning away from the thought that always felt like a punch to the face, I focused back on Jane. She was watching the couples dancing, her lips softly curled at the edges.